NO TIME FOR ONE SINGLE THOUGHT
TRUTH
THIS IS A PICTURE OF JENNIFER WITH MY GRANDPA AND HER GREAT GRANDPA. JENNIFER WAS ABOUT 2 YEARS OLD. THIS WAS TAKEN AT MY GRANDPARENT'S 50TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION.
That night Dave and I were shell shocked and so devastated there were no words to console us. We tried to discuss and understand what was happening. I kept thinking if it really was Jennifer they found and she was in heaven maybe she was with my Grandpa. I was always his favorite and Jennifer was his beautiful little girl.
I don't remember the time, but Chief Steve Menke called and offered his condolences. He also told me they were bringing Jennifer back to K.U. Medical Center where they would be doing an autopsy and that it would be performed that night.
This information was extremely hard to come to terms with. My baby being cut open by her piers without my saying goodbye and hugging her. I had to remember that my Jenny was not really there but in heaven. You have to steel your heart and feelings from the gory details that were going to be a detailed account about her body and belongings.
After 17 years on the City of Olathe, Kansas Police Department, Chief Menke could not talk longer than two minutes. This guy was so full of himself he didn't realize that at one time I cleaned his house, did their laundry and changed their bed. His wife, Kendra, who was a dispatcher for the Department (no nepotism there) at the time, hired me on Jennifer's recommendation, to clean their home. In fact Chief Menke had actually spoken to me on several occasions while I was cleaning. Every space in their house was covered with Glamour Shots of Kendra Menke. In retrospect, I should not have been surprised at his dismissive behavior. After all, he also knew as did the whole Olathe Police Department that Jennifer's depression was caused by Natalie Bright and her full blown affair with Sarah Tackett and that Jennifer had been demoted the day before.
The only other call we got that night was from Captain Greg O'Halloran. Who was going to handle the funeral arrangements? Who should they release "the body" to?
Dave and I struggled with the answer. In retrospect again, we should have taken care of the arrangements and Jennifer's wishes would have been followed, had we known them then, but I was too depleted of energy and Dave couldn't do it alone, so we left it up to the Olathe Police Department and unfortunately Natalie Bright and her mother Gail Fagen, to handle the details. We thought that Jennifer's wishes would be carried out, whatever they were. Natalie Bright and Gail Fagen thought they were home free and rich. So, we thought it was only right since they caused Jennifer's death they should handle her death. After all, Jennifer's body was cremated but her soul and spirit were in heaven.
I don't know what time we went to bed that night or how long I slept.
I do remember snippets of different dreams I had that night and in the nights following Jennifer's death. I worked downtown off of Southwest Boulevard during Jennifer's first years in high school. I had to beg for time off to get to go to some of her basketball games. Since her biological father was never interested in her sports or anything else and I had not met my future husband yet and no one else was really interested, I felt that I should be there and wanted to watch her play.
It's funny how some things you remember so vividly it's scary. That day I had on a white wool suit and high heels. It had been snowing all day and I left work around 2:30 to get to Shawnee Mission West High School by game time. My car struggled to get up the Southwest Boulevard hill to get to the Plaza, but once there I made good time to get to the school before game time. I don't remember who they were playing, but Jennifer was the high scorer in the game. She particularly excelled at 3 pointers. Her team was ahead by 2 points and the clock was running down. There was about 1/2 minute left on the clock and Jennifer had the ball. She started dribbling the ball so close to the ground I thought it wouldn't continue to bounce. She was incredible the way she controlled the ball so no one could steal it. The clock ran out and Jennifer's team won. I remember jumping up and cheering so loud with pride for this oh so talented kid. My kid.
This dream or re-enactment played out that night as it has so many times since.
The next morning I woke up feeling like I had run into a tree. Then the realization hit. My baby was dead and my grandson gone. This was Thanksgiving Day, 2010. Families were worrying about cooking the turkey and dressing and dinner guests, while we were mourning the end of Jennifer's life and our life as we knew it.
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